Anonymous asked: I sent littlemisspolitical an ask on her personal blog saying I would likely kill myself or die from pregnancy because of the medication I’m on and a chronic condition. And she said “If you’re afraid of dying, why would you ever have sex?” Pro-life compassion at it’s finest. Apparently since I have mental health issues and a chronic illness, I don’t get to have sex! Ever!
Our anti-sex culture sickens me.
Anon, I’m in basically the same situation as you. I take several medications, I have several medical issues, and I know pregnancy would be too much for me physically and in terms of dysphoria. But nowhere in all of that do I consider those circumstances a reason for me to forgo intimacy. In fact, the two Supreme Court cases that legalized contraception for married couples and single people implicitly gives us the right to non-procreative sex. I’m afraid of dying from pregnancy, but an orgasm isn’t going to kill me and the two (pleasure and pregnancy) are no longer wrapped up in one another. It’s perfectly possible to have sex and not consent to pregnancy and it’s also perfectly possible to get pregnant without ever having sex.
I refuse to settle for living in a society where this ^ is my only option.
fuck cis feminism.
I haven’t seen a single trans person deny that anti-abortion laws are often rooted in misogyny. I really haven’t. We’re genuinely not asking you to ignore this. However, when you’re talking about these things, when you say things like ‘this harms women’ or ‘this is bad for women’ or post anything with a picture of a uterus or a vuvla cupcake or whatever and talk about women women women, you’re being a cissexist asshole. You’re telling me that either I’m a woman because of my uterus or I’m just not important. You’re telling my DMAB trans siblings that they aren’t women because they don’t have these parts. You’re telling me my personal experiences with abortion that had a strong relation to my transness aren’t important, that the work I’ve done for the pro-choice movement is meaningless. Above all, you’re telling me that because the lifers see me as a woman because of my genitals, you will too.
Because I’ve seen that excuse. And do you know how much that fucking hurts? Do you know how much it hurts to know that the assholes trying to take away the little control you’re allowed over your body misgender you, but those trying to stop that do the same thing? And excuse me while I ignore the cis women’s tears here but when you talk about reproductive rights you talk about abortions. Maybe even IVF for cis women. You talk about how important it is that women have abortion rights and if men could get pregnant this wouldn’t be an issue and all the rest of it and you never mention that men DO get pregnant, you never mention that a lot of countries demand we are sterilized before we are legally recognized as our gender.
What about our fucking rights, eh? What about my reproductive rights? What about my right to bodily autonomy, my right to have hormones and surgery without some cis gatekeeper telling me I’m just not trans enough because I still wear skirts? What about our rights to be recognized as our ACTUAL FUCKING GENDERS without being lumped under ‘women’ because you people find it too hard to include us at all. Actually, I don’t think you even find it hard. I think cis feminists seem to find it harrowing and painful to even consider including us.
You talk about how women are marginalized because vaginas are seen as bad things and you never mention how your own communities marginalize women without vaginas. You worship at the altar of the vulva and talk about how important periods are to shared womanhood or whatever else and leave trans women at the sidelines, while telling DFAB trans folk that they’re only trans because the patriarchy made them hate their ‘womanhood’.
You lionize the vilest anti-trans second-wavers, you stick up for Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, you talk about lesbian sex like it can only ever include vaginas, you tell me I should feel shared womanhood with you because I was born with a set of organs I didn’t even want…
No, fuck you, cis feminism. Fuck you. You are a movement of primarily cissexist assholes. I am unfollowing more and more of you every day because of how many of you I see sticking up for cissexism or talking about how mean us trans folk are for daring to ask for more inclusive language. I see you crying cis tears at ‘die cis scum’, I see you bullying my trans siblings out of activism, I see you sticking up for well-known cissexists every day and I want nothing more to do with any of you.
Hello things that pop up on my dash that make me feel embarassed at my past self… Of fifteen minutes ago.
This. Trans people are denied access to health care every day. We are left to bleed from gunshots, not from “oh, we can’t let you take another life”- from gunshots. And trans women get that the worst, but if a trans man or person who’s taken T gets health problems related to their uterus, doctors treat us like shit. I would not be surprised if some trans people have been banned from getting an abortion for being trans, or if a requirement for getting one is putting up with being degendered. And here are cis women whining about not getting access to health care telling us that we, who get far less access to health care than they have already, don’t deserve it as well.
And, yes, misgendering DOES block some of us from healthcare. I have problems related to my genitals that a doctor should look at, but I couldn’t do it. I can’t even research it because it makes me feel sick. Being misgendered, being degendered is hard enough on me. But at a time when you’re really fucking sick, upset, worried about your health? It can do serious damage. The thought of being misgendered by someone who’s looking at my genitals is enough to keep me from ever getting an exam. My partner and I have gotten into fights where we purposefully verbally attack each other, but the worst I have ever felt is when they unintentionally misgender me. And that’s someone who I know doesn’t see me that way, while fully clothed and knowing I’m safe. Some stranger who’s prodding me in places I don’t want touched? I can’t even imagine what that would do to me. It would be traumatic, I’m not exaggerating, that is a frightful kind of violence.
I feel like there’s some bullshit “but you trans people have male privilege” going on- no, not all of us do, and it is NOT the same as cis male privilege. I have ZERO male privilege- I am not perceived as male, I am not male, I am not masculine. I get the same shit cis women get, and then some transphobia because I’m an androgynous freak. And trans men get the same shit for having vaginas as cis women do when it comes to healthcare- even if they don’t get catcalled on the street, it’s not like you can pretend to be a cis man to someone who’s staring at your vulva. When a trans person gets into the doctor’s office that is a terrifying situation. Doctors know jackshit about how to talk to us, much less about how to treat us, especially with sexual health.
And cis women are pissed off that we want to be given more options, that we’re asking to not be intentionally excluded from discussions about OUR BODIES and OUR LIVES.
![Inconvenience? You hear that people capable of getting pregnant? This is all merely an inconvenience:
Normal, frequent or expectable temporary side effects of pregnancy:
exhaustion (weariness common from first weeks)
altered appetite and senses of taste and smell
nausea and vomiting (50% of women, first trimester)
heartburn and indigestion
constipation
weight gain
dizziness and light-headedness
bloating, swelling, fluid retention
hemmorhoids
abdominal cramps
yeast infections
congested, bloody nose
acne and mild skin disorders
skin discoloration (chloasma, face and abdomen)
mild to severe backache and strain
increased headaches
difficulty sleeping, and discomfort while sleeping
increased urination and incontinence
bleeding gums
pica
breast pain and discharge
swelling of joints, leg cramps, joint pain
difficulty sitting, standing in later pregnancy
inability to take regular medications
shortness of breath
higher blood pressure
hair loss
tendency to anemia
curtailment of ability to participate in some sports and activities
infection including from serious and potentially fatal disease(pregnant women are immune suppressed compared with non-pregnant women, andare more susceptible to fungal and certain other diseases)
extreme pain on delivery
hormonal mood changes, including normal post-partum depression
continued post-partum exhaustion and recovery period (exacerbated if a c-section — major surgery — is required, sometimes taking up to a full year to fully recover)
Normal, expectable, or frequent PERMANENT side effects of pregnancy:
stretch marks (worse in younger women)
loose skin
permanent weight gain or redistribution
abdominal and vaginal muscle weakness
pelvic floor disorder (occurring in as many as 35% of middle-aged former child-bearers and 50% of elderly former child-bearers, associated with urinary and rectal incontinence, discomfort and reduced quality of life)
changes to breasts
varicose veins
scarring from episiotomy or c-section
other permanent aesthetic changes to the body (all of these are downplayed by women, because the culture values youth and beauty)
increased proclivity for hemmorhoids
loss of dental and bone calcium (cavities and osteoporosis)
Occasional complications and side effects:
spousal/partner abuse
hyperemesis gravidarum
temporary and permanent injury to back
severe scarring requiring later surgery (especially after additional pregnancies)
dropped (prolapsed) uterus (especially after additional pregnancies, and other pelvic floor weaknesses — 11% of women, including cystocele, rectocele, and enterocele)
pre-eclampsia (edema and hypertension, the most common complication of pregnancy, associated with eclampsia, and affecting 7 - 10% of pregnancies)
eclampsia (convulsions, coma during pregnancy or labor, high risk of death)
gestational diabetes
placenta previa
anemia (which can be life-threatening)
thrombocytopenic purpura
severe cramping
embolism (blood clots)
medical disability requiring full bed rest (frequently ordered during part of many pregnancies varying from days to months for health of either mother or baby)
diastasis recti, also torn abdominal muscles
mitral valve stenosis (most common cardiac complication)
serious infection and disease (e.g. increased risk of tuberculosis)
hormonal imbalance
ectopic pregnancy (risk of death)
broken bones (ribcage, “tail bone”)
hemorrhage and
numerous other complications of delivery
refractory gastroesophageal reflux disease
aggravation of pre-pregnancy diseases and conditions (e.g. epilepsy is present in .5% of pregnant women, and the pregnancy alters drug metabolism and treatment prospects all the while it increases the number and frequency of seizures)
severe post-partum depression and psychosis
research now indicates a possible link between ovarian cancer and female fertility treatments, including “egg harvesting” from infertile women and donors
research also now indicates correlations between lower breast cancer survival rates and proximity in time to onset of cancer of last pregnancy
research also indicates a correlation between having six or more pregnancies and a risk of coronary and cardiovascular disease
Less common (but serious) complications:
peripartum cardiomyopathy
cardiopulmonary arrest
magnesium toxicity
severe hypoxemia/acidosis
massive embolism
increased intracranial pressure, brainstem infarction
molar pregnancy, gestational trophoblastic disease (like a pregnancy-induced cancer)
malignant arrhythmia
circulatory collapse
placental abruption
obstetric fistula
More permanent side effects:
future infertility
permanent disability
death.
In addition, there’s the risk of losing one’s job and, by extension, home; pregnancy/childbirth triggering traumatic experiences due to rape, molestation, or partner/spousal abuse; body or gender dysphoria; missing or dropping out of school; the potential trauma of choosing adoption; suffering from pregnancy related job discrimination; the economic toll of pregnancy and raising a child; and not being able to continue taking important medications or exacerbating pre-existing conditions.
Here’s some statistics:
358,000 people die annually from pregnancy related complications.
20% of people who die during pregnancy are murder victims.
The risk of maternal mortality is highest for adolescents under 15 years old.
Complications in pregnancy and childbirth are the leading cause of death among adolescents in most developing countries.
A person’s lifetime risk of maternal death – the probability that a 15-year-old will eventually die from a maternal cause – is 1 in 4300 in developed countries, versus 1 in 120 in developing countries.
A pregnant person has a 35.6% greater risk of being a victim of violence than a non-pregnant person. The estimated prevalence of violence against people during pregnancy ranges from four percent to eight percent.
40% of all pregnant people have some complications during pregnancy or childbirth. About 15% have complications that are potentially life-threatening.
Tl;dr So in case that wasn’t clear: pregnancy is always life threatening and never merely an “inconvenience”.
[ETA: I wish beyond all belief this edit wasn’t necessary, but I guess it is. This post isn’t meant to vilify pregnancy or the people who choose it. As I’ve said in a reply and an ask, pregnancy is always a valid reproductive choice for those who choose it. As a prochoicer, I support all reproductive choices including birthing ones like advocating for the choice to have VBACs, home births, and the right to say no to unwanted c-sections. I will fight as hard for those rights as I do for the right to an abortion. I don’t think birth is bad for those that want to do it, but some of us would literally rather die. This isn’t meant as a scare tactic against fellow people who can get pregnant. This is about the flippant manner in which cis men like to dismiss people’s concerns that pregnancy is more than an “inconvenience.” The last time I checked people don’t regularly die from inconveniences. For more see: this reply and this ask, which I also made rebloggable on request.]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ludn9tsDQx1r3bzxoo1_1280.png)
Inconvenience? You hear that people capable of getting pregnant? This is all merely an inconvenience:
Normal, frequent or expectable temporary side effects of pregnancy:
- exhaustion (weariness common from first weeks)
- altered appetite and senses of taste and smell
- nausea and vomiting (50% of women, first trimester)
- heartburn and indigestion
- constipation
- weight gain
- dizziness and light-headedness
- bloating, swelling, fluid retention
- hemmorhoids
- abdominal cramps
- yeast infections
- congested, bloody nose
- acne and mild skin disorders
- skin discoloration (chloasma, face and abdomen)
- mild to severe backache and strain
- increased headaches
- difficulty sleeping, and discomfort while sleeping
- increased urination and incontinence
- bleeding gums
- pica
- breast pain and discharge
- swelling of joints, leg cramps, joint pain
- difficulty sitting, standing in later pregnancy
- inability to take regular medications
- shortness of breath
- higher blood pressure
- hair loss
- tendency to anemia
- curtailment of ability to participate in some sports and activities
- infection including from serious and potentially fatal disease
(pregnant women are immune suppressed compared with non-pregnant women, and
are more susceptible to fungal and certain other diseases) - extreme pain on delivery
- hormonal mood changes, including normal post-partum depression
- continued post-partum exhaustion and recovery period (exacerbated if a c-section — major surgery — is required, sometimes taking up to a full year to fully recover)
Normal, expectable, or frequent PERMANENT side effects of pregnancy:
- stretch marks (worse in younger women)
- loose skin
- permanent weight gain or redistribution
- abdominal and vaginal muscle weakness
- pelvic floor disorder (occurring in as many as 35% of middle-aged former child-bearers and 50% of elderly former child-bearers, associated with urinary and rectal incontinence, discomfort and reduced quality of life)
- changes to breasts
- varicose veins
- scarring from episiotomy or c-section
- other permanent aesthetic changes to the body (all of these are downplayed by women, because the culture values youth and beauty)
- increased proclivity for hemmorhoids
- loss of dental and bone calcium (cavities and osteoporosis)
Occasional complications and side effects:
- spousal/partner abuse
- hyperemesis gravidarum
- temporary and permanent injury to back
- severe scarring requiring later surgery (especially after additional pregnancies)
- dropped (prolapsed) uterus (especially after additional pregnancies, and other pelvic floor weaknesses — 11% of women, including cystocele, rectocele, and enterocele)
- pre-eclampsia (edema and hypertension, the most common complication of pregnancy, associated with eclampsia, and affecting 7 - 10% of pregnancies)
- eclampsia (convulsions, coma during pregnancy or labor, high risk of death)
- gestational diabetes
- placenta previa
- anemia (which can be life-threatening)
- thrombocytopenic purpura
- severe cramping
- embolism (blood clots)
- medical disability requiring full bed rest (frequently ordered during part of many pregnancies varying from days to months for health of either mother or baby)
- diastasis recti, also torn abdominal muscles
- mitral valve stenosis (most common cardiac complication)
- serious infection and disease (e.g. increased risk of tuberculosis)
- hormonal imbalance
- ectopic pregnancy (risk of death)
- broken bones (ribcage, “tail bone”)
- hemorrhage and
- numerous other complications of delivery
- refractory gastroesophageal reflux disease
- aggravation of pre-pregnancy diseases and conditions (e.g. epilepsy is present in .5% of pregnant women, and the pregnancy alters drug metabolism and treatment prospects all the while it increases the number and frequency of seizures)
- severe post-partum depression and psychosis
- research now indicates a possible link between ovarian cancer and female fertility treatments, including “egg harvesting” from infertile women and donors
- research also now indicates correlations between lower breast cancer survival rates and proximity in time to onset of cancer of last pregnancy
- research also indicates a correlation between having six or more pregnancies and a risk of coronary and cardiovascular disease
Less common (but serious) complications:
- peripartum cardiomyopathy
- cardiopulmonary arrest
- magnesium toxicity
- severe hypoxemia/acidosis
- massive embolism
- increased intracranial pressure, brainstem infarction
- molar pregnancy, gestational trophoblastic disease (like a pregnancy-induced cancer)
- malignant arrhythmia
- circulatory collapse
- placental abruption
- obstetric fistula
More permanent side effects:
- future infertility
- permanent disability
- death.
In addition, there’s the risk of losing one’s job and, by extension, home; pregnancy/childbirth triggering traumatic experiences due to rape, molestation, or partner/spousal abuse; body or gender dysphoria; missing or dropping out of school; the potential trauma of choosing adoption; suffering from pregnancy related job discrimination; the economic toll of pregnancy and raising a child; and not being able to continue taking important medications or exacerbating pre-existing conditions.
Here’s some statistics:
- 358,000 people die annually from pregnancy related complications.
- 20% of people who die during pregnancy are murder victims.
- The risk of maternal mortality is highest for adolescents under 15 years old.
- Complications in pregnancy and childbirth are the leading cause of death among adolescents in most developing countries.
- A person’s lifetime risk of maternal death – the probability that a 15-year-old will eventually die from a maternal cause – is 1 in 4300 in developed countries, versus 1 in 120 in developing countries.
- A pregnant person has a 35.6% greater risk of being a victim of violence than a non-pregnant person. The estimated prevalence of violence against people during pregnancy ranges from four percent to eight percent.
- 40% of all pregnant people have some complications during pregnancy or childbirth. About 15% have complications that are potentially life-threatening.
Tl;dr So in case that wasn’t clear: pregnancy is always life threatening and never merely an “inconvenience”.
[ETA: I wish beyond all belief this edit wasn’t necessary, but I guess it is. This post isn’t meant to vilify pregnancy or the people who choose it. As I’ve said in a reply and an ask, pregnancy is always a valid reproductive choice for those who choose it. As a prochoicer, I support all reproductive choices including birthing ones like advocating for the choice to have VBACs, home births, and the right to say no to unwanted c-sections. I will fight as hard for those rights as I do for the right to an abortion. I don’t think birth is bad for those that want to do it, but some of us would literally rather die. This isn’t meant as a scare tactic against fellow people who can get pregnant. This is about the flippant manner in which cis men like to dismiss people’s concerns that pregnancy is more than an “inconvenience.” The last time I checked people don’t regularly die from inconveniences. For more see: this reply and this ask, which I also made rebloggable on request.]
Musings With A Touch of Aspie: Do anti-choicers really wonder why we're angry? [TW: rape, abortion, anti-choice lies, sex-negativity, torture]
We’re angry because you think you can tell us what to do with our bodies.
We’re angry because you police our sex lives.
We’re angry because your reasons are almost always rooted in religion, essentially meaning that you’re forcing your beliefs on others.
We’re angry because you think that sex…
^^ (Except I don’t believe pregnancy is torture for those who want it, and I can figure anti choice readers will point that out in a heartbeat, so better reiterate it.)
[TW: addiction, dysphoria]
The 9 weeks of pregnancy I experienced was tortuous and caused a massive addiction relapse and made me keep getting often uncontrollable urges to punch myself in the gut cause of the dysphoria. You got any idea how much effort it normally takes to punch yourself hard enough to black out? I was having to STOP myself from doing that.
Imagine 9 weeks of a really horrible illness coupled with someone bullying you (my own mind, in this case). Then imagine that suddenly stopping and spending a day in London while nicely high, going to a giant toy store, eating a really nice chorizo and beef burger topped with guacamole on a sourdough roll, and then going home and snuggling up and watching DVDs. That day would probably be the best day ever. And for me, it was. My abortion was definitely the best day ever. The sedatives made me chill as fuck, I got a nice day out and some great food, and my boyfriend was lovely. I will never apologize for loving that experience.
(via inflateablefilth)
